A Week to Spare is a Week to Lose
by kuyakevs
Summary: When Aaron Hoofington finds himself in Equestria, he is given a week to see if he would to stay. The princesses' parents had prophesied that a human would become a prince and marry THE princess. However, a problem has risen. A rebellion problem. Will he follow the prophecy, or will he become something else? Will he stay, or will he leave? Which princess, Celestia or Luna?
1. Arrival (Day 1)

"Get your lazy bastardness out here!"

Let me explain. This is my father, Don. If you're looking for me, please direct your eyes behind yourself. There you go.

My name is Aaron Hoofington. Yeah, yeah; laugh all you want. That's what everyone does. I'm used to it. This is my last month of eighth grade, and my dad is unusually grumpy during this time. He wants me to "make Mama proud." I think he's mad at me for getting held back for four years during my years in middle school. His lack of compassion causes him to let Fist, Foot, and Hard Object to meet Face and Head.

"After all," my dad would grumble, "your Mama would've wanted you to do your best." But as you would expect, I disregarded it. Because of this, I was late for school, giving me no spare time at school _make_ friends. Yes, I don't have friends, but it helps me at the same time: I don't get let down, held down, and make dumb promises. Even my family ignores me. The only chance I could have had was my sister, but she basically plays "follow the leader" with my dad. Connect the dots.

Because my older brother dropped out of high school, he drives me to school, but it isn't the best **AT ALL**. Now, back to my reality.

"Get your lazy bastardness out here!"

"God, Dad, wait for once."

My dad lost it. "YOU DARE INSULT ME LIKE THAT!" Next thing I know, I'm lying in the fetal position, having been introduced to Fist again. By the way, nice to meet you Fist. I stumbled my way to my unconcerned brother and jumped into the roofless car.

"I swear, if you drip blood on the leather…"

* * *

My day at school wasn't the worst, but it wasn't the best. The bullies gave me their daily routine, and I failed my project thanks to them. Honestly, I don't give two bucks about school. Notice anything? Yep, I'm a brony. Every day, after school, I watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I always enjoyed the show. My favorite character?

Luna. Nopony else.

As I sat at my bedside, I wondered, _what would life be like in Equestria?_

**_ Would you like to know?_**

I fell off my bed. That voice…

**_ Would you like to know?_**

Those were the words I heard. The voice in my head startled me. It wasn't me. Only, it sounded… familiar…

Suddenly, I saw a huge flash and something… or _somepony_ appeared!

"I am Princess Celestia, goddess of the sun and ruler of Equestria with my sister. I can take you to Equestria if you would like, but you may never come back here again. I object though, you have been steadily watched, and you are part of a prophecy. A part of a prophecy that has been forsaken by my own parents. Come with me, and your questions will be answered."

Although I was happy for looking at the Princess without fainting, I was very confused. Why haven't I come back to reality?

"Is something wrong?" the Princess asked.

"Yes, actually," I said. "I'm sitting in front of my savior, and I'm not in a dream. Well, this is awesome at the same time." I pondered for a long time, thinking about the proposal and what little losses I would have. "Cele- Princess, I think I'll go with you."

She grinned warmly. "A great choice. Also, call me Celestia. Soon, I may let you call me Tia," Celestia said, giggling at a thought. Her horn lit up and I felt _very _sick. Next thing I know, I'm still by Celestia's side, but in a new place. I gazed at the new area; I noticed a very dull appearance, like graphics from the late 1900s and early 2000s.

"Hello, creature! I'm Sweetberry!"

_ Shit_, I thought. _G… 3…_

"Sorry!" **WHOOSH!**

Hurled yet? Yes. At least it was at Sweetberry. I looked at the _G4_ surroundings. The room of a palace… the Royal Palace. However, this wasn't any room. This room was decorated to give off a lunar look.

Luna…

"Whom thy intrude is whom thy di-ello?" Princess Luna looked utterly confused. She seemed more confused than me. To be honest, it looked cute, the way she seemed. "Tia, _what is that?_" That killed my heart. R.I.P.

"This _thing_ is Aaron Hoofington. He has willingly come with me from his universe to ours. Remember the prophecy?"

The Lunar Princess scowled at the thought of multi-universe traveling. She hated it. "What is it with you and multi-universe traveling? It's sickening," she mumbled, dropping her formal accent. I raised an eyebrow. I'm not alone. However, that isn't the only thing Luna's irritated about. There is one more: the prophecy.

* * *

"Why must it be "prophecy this, prophecy that?" Why can't we stick to our heart and not bring… this… _thing_ with us!" Luna was constantly whining. However, she was also aiming her anger at me, including insults within her statements. I was broken. Why was it that when I get the choice I absolutely wanted, it's destroyed? Only this is worse. I sighed.

"Well, since you are so angry at a guy at first sight, why don't you tell me what this _prophecy_ is?" Luna looked at me with a nervous face like her sister. _First non-angry face? I can live with at least this._

Celestia was displeased. "Long ago, our parents had a vision. A vision that a man – not a pony – would come to our world and become a prince and marry _the _princess and become king and queen. It seemed so surreal to them that they began using psychic spells to predict the future, and sure enough, it happened. We both honored their decision until Lulu had a change in heart." Princess Luna scowled at her nickname being used "publicly." "I have watched you, young _man_. I believe you are the prince our parents prophesied. The sweet, noble prince that we had waited for…"

Luna continued to glare at us from across the room. It appeared she didn't want to hear any of it. After the story, my heart softened. "If I may, where will I stay?" I asked.

"I do not have any room for you in the palace, as a meeting is coming and many politicians are here. Therefore, I have asked my student, Twilight Sparkle, to house you. A carriage is waiting outside."

I walked towards the door, pondering. I felt bad for Luna, being the only one siding with a possible approach. To be honest, I didn't know who to believe, so I decided to stay neutral and try not to get involved. As I passed the lunar princess, I whispered, "I understand now." She looked up and… smiled. I felt warm in the heart as I left.

* * *

The afternoon was… crazy (to say the least.) Since my arrival in Ponyville, I've been whispered about, screamed at, and tackled by Pinkie Pie – actually, I expected something worse. I met Twilight and her assistant, Spike. However, I knew who they were. I just wanted to make them feel special. Twilight was happy to have me move in. She instantly *cough* INSTANTLY renovated a new room with her magic. It looked exactly like her room except a bit more… manly!

"I love it Twi!" I exclaimed, bringing her into a tight embrace. I retracted my arms as I heard (or didn't hear) silence from her lungs.

"Can't breathe… please…"

* * *

I stumbled upstairs. "What a… day…," I mumbled. There was a party going on. I had a headache from the drinking. I could still hear Vinyl Scratch (otherwise known as DJ-PON3) playing her bass up at full volume. "Damn bass cannon…" Suddenly, I heard the sound of someone vomiting in my bathroom. I was utterly confused; no one ever came in. I inched my way towards the door and opened it, finding a pony I would least expect here, and having a hangover already as well!

"Luna? What the… What the _hell_ are you doing in my room?" I questioned her, my voice rising in anger. If she showed so much distaste in me, why is she here? _Fucking bitch_, I thought. I glared at her, but she was… crying.

She looked at me, distraught. "I- I… uh… I must leave!" Just as she was about to teleport away to who knows – or cares, in my case – I tackled her. **Hard**. The once scary princess cowered in fear as I peered into her face. Normally, I would punch the crap out of her, but I had changed before arriving in Equestria. I searched through her eyes, looking for what I was looking for. Was the princess just acting up, or was she truthful of her sadness? I found it. _True_, I thought. I let her off from the ground and carried her to my bed. Luna just gazed at me, searching for words. "I'm… I'm sorry…"

She was so cute. I let out a hearty laugh. "I forgive you. Only next time, tell me. Wouldn't it seem weird if one of your guards was having a hangover in your bathroom?" I imagined that happening and chuckled to myself. "Now, tell me, why are you here? Considering what happened after my arrival, the tension couldn't be cut by swords."

Luna looked down. "I was angry at my sister after the dispute. I left for a drink, but I decided to go to your party. The least I could do after yelling at you is showing up." I pulled her head up until she faced me. I smiled, and she grinned back.

"I know this is pretty quick, but… I was wondering if there was any way I could help," I said. I wanted to make it up to her. _It was the least _I _could do_, I gazed up quietly. She later told me that she could use an assistant for all of her paperwork with all the night cases going on. She never anyone that she had more work than her co-ruler until now.

"I'm sorry," Luna sighed, "but it is time for me to leave. I feel better speaking to you personally. It was… nice." She walked towards the window, spread her wings, and barfed, a **LOT.** She groaned, "I don't think I can make it without "birding" on somepony." The princess asked for a rag, and I fetched two for both of us; we wiped off a lot of the ex-stomach fluid before it stained until my hand touched her hoof. It was soft like a pillow. Apparently, she noticed and jerked her hand back, much to my displeasure.

I thought this was a good time to propose an offer. "Princess, if I may, my bed is up for keeps." She looked at me with disgust and I laughed. "No, I mean, if you need a place to crash, you can take my bed while I take the downstairs couch." Her eyes lit up along with my heart. I left her there to "decide" while I made my way downstairs. There were still many ponies here. Vinyl seemed to put her bass on autopilot because she had her face slammed on the set. I saw the drool dribbling down and smiled. _Poor Vi_. I walked over to Twilight who seemed to be flirting with a stallion. _About time_, I thought. I poked her back and she turned to me.

"Twi, can Luna stay over? I offered my bed. She's having a hangover." Twilight burst into a fit of laughter.

"The Princess? Hangover? You've got to be KIDDING! … You're… not." Twilight tensed up. "Of course, she can stay! But where will you sleep? The couch?" She gestured over to the couch and coffee table where Applejack was playing Cider Pong with her brother. Pinkie was also there… having a chugging race with another mare. Twi sighed. "My bed's too small. You'll either have to sleep with Luna or the floor."

I was a bit shocked that she did not give up her bed to Celestia chosen guest. "Very well," I whispered. Twi acknowledged my hurt but was too drunk to care. I walked back up without a word.

"Princess, you are allowed to sleep here. Actually, Twi's _orders_."

"Do not address me as Princess; call me Luna. You have been unknowingly." I reddened at the thought of incorrectly addressing royalty, but I felt better that Luna opened up to me.

"I do have one problem: the couch is occupied…," Luna looked at me. "… by stomach fluids." I groaned in frustration. Such a basic problem has to be buffed up by alcohol. I heard her clear her throat, and I looked up. She smiled and gestured toward the extra space on my bed. I unwillingly climbed on. By instinct, I hugged her. I heard her grunt in surprise and tense up, but she later sighed and loosened up, accepting my arms. I fell asleep feeling something soft touch my face…


	2. Hospitalized (Day 2)

**Hi, guys! kuyakevs here! Thank you a ton for surviving the first chapter. This time, I decided to try POV changes. Half of this chp. is basically at the A/N at the bottom. See y'all later!**

* * *

*****POV CHANGE: Princess Celestia**

I was reading a letter from my student, Twilight Sparkle, when my sister burst through the door with a troubled face. I looked at her.

"Dear sister, what is the matter?" I didn't want to pry, but from her face, I knew she needed help.

"I…," she looked down in tears, "I kissed Aaron!"

* * *

*****POV CHANGE: Aaron Hoofington**

I woke up with a sense of loneliness… and sickness. I burst into the bathroom, but it was too late. I was barfing like the tsunami from the movie, 2012. (Don't sue me! I don't own it!) Twilight probably heard me because I heard somepony coming… _Oh, it's just Spike._

"That's tough, man."

"No… jok- BLLEEEAAAAAGGHH!" I was caught by a torrent of fluids. Brown, green, yellow… _Sickness Rainbow_, I thought. When Spike left to make breakfast, I cleaned up the missed shots. After finishing, I stumbled to the bed, remembering the party up until…. "I- I… I _kissed the princess_!" I freaked out.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital bed, surrounded by Twilight, her friends, and the princesses. I shuddered seeing Luna. However, they didn't notice me coming to. Therefore, I decided to prank them.

"**BOO!**"

_ Bad idea_; my face hurts to this day. "I guess I deserved it," I mumbled, massaging my cheek. _Goddamn, Rainbow Dash. For all I know, you gave me a _scar_!_ "What happened, Twi?" I asked.

"It wasn't good," she replied. _Well, at least she's okay with her nickname I made. I thought she would freak out the first time._ Twilight sighed. "You were in hysterics, jumping all over the house. I tried to calm you down, but you just leaped off the balcony…" She gestured toward Applejack and Rainbow Dash. "I had to ask these two to haul you over here, and ever since then, you've been out for hours."

I just stared, trying to recollect those memories. "At least you tried," I murmured. Just then, a nurse walked in.

"Mr. Hoofington can be discharged once he- oh, he's awake. Anyway, he can be discharged should you feel he is ready." The nurse faced me. "Mister, you took quite a fall. Luckily, your left leg broke most of it, but I'm afraid you'll have to have a cast and crutches that fit your size."

I nodded, "Thank you, Nurse… Nurse, Um…"

"Nurse Redheart."

She left the room and returned with my appropriate items necessary for traveling around. Redheart also gave me paperwork to fill out for my release. Once I finished, we exited the building. I suggested we all walk to Twilight's house, and everypony except Luna agreed. This saddened me quite a bit. I was hoping we could straighten things out after our drunken mishap. "There are many cases in night court that have been scheduled tonight," she said, lying. I couldn't say no, though, so I let it pass.

It was a silent walk home. However, we all got home and heard Pinkie Pie gasp. "SLUMBER PARTY!" she screamed. I groaned, remembering my older sister on Earth. She would call her friends over five times a week, and I wouldn't get any sleep or work done no matter what…

* * *

_ "Aaron! Get your sorry butt upstairs! I don't want you down here AT ALL!"_

_ "God… Fine."_

_ Another one of those days. Megan was having friends over. Seven, to be exact. They were bringing a couple dudes over if I remember correctly…_

_ "Hey, dude. What you doin' up here?" This was my sister's boyfriend, David. As much as he loved Megan, he felt compassion towards her hatred towards me. "Wait, don't answer that. I know. She shouldn't be doing this to you. If there are guys, why can't you chill with us?"_

_ "She hates me. 'Just cause' is all she says."_

_ He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. We went down, much to my sister's despair. I sat down with him next to the other guys, and they greeted me respectfully. _About time_, I thought. _I finally feel worthy._ Although David accepted me, my sister was different._

_ "Why in the _hell of God_ is he here? I told him to stay up and out of the party!"_

_ "'Cause I let him!" My sister gasped at that statement. "He needs to be treated like a man. Let him hang out like one."_

_ My sister was absolutely furious. I should have warned David that she makes quick decisions when she's mad. "__**YOU KNOW WHAT? GET OUT, DAVID! WE! ARE! OVER!**__"_

_ "I'll come back," he told me. As David walked out he turned around, and he made me feel a lot better. "Megan? _Fuck. You._" He gave her the finger and slammed the door. I felt giddy as I walked upstairs._

* * *

"Mission Control to Aaron! Do you copy?" Pinkie looked at me questioningly.

"Sorry, girls. I was remembering… the days in Hell." I sat down on the couch. "I never want to go back, but I'm starting to miss my family. I don't understand."

Celestia sighed. "I understand. Therefore, I would like to propose an offer. If you feel motivated to stay here in Equestria, you must prove yourself. Do you match the prophecy? I will watch for that. If you fail to match my expectation, or you simply give me the word, I'll transport you back. It is only a one-way trip because it takes a while to locate your universe. A week should be enough while I'm multitasking. Also, your motivation will speak fairly. If you aren't compatible with living here, I'll know. What do you say?"

I was speechless. By the gods, was it possible? _I am really getting this choice?_ I smiled. "I would love that idea."

"Very well. For now, let's-"

"-PARTY!" Pinkie butted in.

* * *

*****POV CHANGE: Applejack**

"And ah was like, ain't nopony gon' harvest them many apples wi'out some machinery, so Big Mac comes out with a darn machine! He was like, 'you were sayin'?'" We all laughed at the corny joke like a group of drunk animals. Well, we were drunk. And we were prepared for a long night. "Come on, girls! Let's get payback on him!" Actually, it was _supposed_ to be long. Guess not…

* * *

*****POV CHANGE: Aaron Hoofington**

A small creaking noise woke me up. It was the door opening.

"Hey, Twi. Sorry, I was late- Um. And I'll just go back to Rarity's…" Spike closed the door, embarrassed to see what was in front of him. Even I was surprised. I was on the floor… on top of a dog pile of ponies. I tried getting up, but you can't lift off seven ponies that probably weigh more than my skinny form _each_. I gave up and fell asleep.

* * *

*****POV CHANGE: Princess Luna**

I sighed. The last of the nighttime court was done, so I had the rest of the night and day to rest after being intruded on by my sister and it was so early by my standards. I recalled that day. It was saddening that Aaron was pulled in by my sister ever so rudely; he was probably having fun beforehand. But for some reason, he bucking enjoyed himself here, much to my disgust. Then again, it was worse by sleeping with him… _kissing_ him…

I just wish I had the courage to say sorry.

* * *

**Hey, guys! kuyakevs here! I just want to thank you guys for reading this far (as short as it seems.) I've wasted so much free time typing up because I faced numerous blocks here and there during this chapter. After two very helpful reviews, I've decided to change up one thing: BUCK rough drafts! I'll just type off the bat so somepony *COUGH* Newnawn *COUGH* won't have to point out something I forgot to type from my paper. Also, you may be wondering why an eighth grader is sleeping with the princess and drinking *COUGH* Newnawn *COUGH* Again! *WHEEZE* so I updated it. In case you didn't notice, Hoofington was held back for four years, and therefore, he isn't as mature as a nineteen-year-old would. Also, we would have to assume that the drinking age is lower in Equestria. Otherwise, we'd see Twi give Aaron an ironic lecture on how drinking isn't good for you during the party.**

**Yes, Newnawn, I sent you the same PM, but I decided to tell everypony.**

**Additionally, I think I switch from "everyone" and "everypony" as well as other similar words a lot. It's because Aaron is attempting to fit into Equestria without burdening them with trying to learn Earth's English. If I fail miserably and do it during any of the ponies' POV, we'll assume they're doing the same for Aaron.**

**I know assuming is bad for you, but I have survived school by leaving dormant assumptions throughout the day. Abuse the thought, and then the BAD stuff happens.**

**Thanks for reading and feel free to give me suggestions and point out possible revisions. I don't use rough drafts anymore.**

**- kuyakevs**


	3. Legend of CELESTIA? (Day 3)

**A/N: If you don't get the title reference, think of the Legend of Zelda. That should help a ****_ton._**

I woke up with a start. I felt extremely sore, and I knew why. Twilight and her friends had piled onto me, and it is _painful_. I groaned. _At least they're gone_, I thought. Suddenly, a plate was levitated to me. "Thank you," I muttered.

"Now is not the time for conversation; get up." I looked to find Twilight staring at me with a concerned face. As I looked at our surroundings, I gasped. The house had been trashed. "That's not the only problem. Princess Celestia has been pony-napped!"

_Celestia_, I thought, _where are you_? "What happened?" I asked.

"When the girls and I woke up, the Princess was gone! We sent a letter to Princess Luna, but she did not find her. I also know that Celestia wouldn't wander on her own. Unless she was delusional, somepony took her!" I propped myself against the wall, staring outside. There was police tape around the tree.

_Something doesn't seem right,_ I thought. _No one would ever take the princess unless they had the money or power to get away with it… _Something clicked. _Canterlot! _"Twi, I remember Luna offering me a job as her personal assistant. A human Spike." Twilight nodded. "If you need my help, Twi, just send me a letter through _Hotmail_," I said, slightly snickering. This led to my food being flipped into my face.

"This isn't a laughing matter!" Twilight growled. "Anyway, the night before, Princess Celestia told me about you getting a free ride to Canterlot. Also, when Luna replied to our letter, she said she informed the guards that you were coming." As I walked to my bedroom door, Twi piped up again. "If you aren't given a room to stay in the Palace, I would assume you get free rides." I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. On my way, I passed by the rest of the Mane Six. They seemed equally worried.

After I had gotten ready, I opened the door. "Goodbye, Twilight. Good luck." I left for the train station. As I arrived, I noticed people slightly bowing their heads. Even the town seemed a bit duller. I approached the train conductor who was sitting quietly on a bench. "Excuse me, when is the next ride to Canterlot?"

The stallion smiled, "Right now, sir. Aaron, wasn't it? Yes, this ride was ordered not to leave until you had arrived." I nodded and stepped into the train. I heard a common voice. "ALL ABOARD THE LOCOMOTIVE!"

Sitting in the cart, I passed by other ponies, but they bowed to me. I was bewildered. Upon reaching the front car, the preferred seat by most, I noticed it was heavily guarded. When they spotted me, they glared. "Halt! Only ponies chosen by the princesses can ride in the private class. If you are looking for first class, you must turn back."

"Hello? Luna's personal assistant? That ring a bell?" I asked, mockingly. They were immediately flustered.

"I… Uh… My apologies m'lord! My…My contacts were blurry!" The other guard, however, did not have a ridiculous excuse.

"'O Rly?'" I asked. (Meme Genie) "Anyway, please do not call me 'm'lord. I do not even know why you are giving me such a title. Does being Princess Luna's assistant have its perks?"

"You aren't getting married? Uh, I mean, yes, sir."

I looked at him disbelievingly. "Huh? Last time I checked, there aren't wedding bells to be heard."

* * *

I arrived in Canterlot at night without – any more – trouble. I only spoke to a stallion who told me about a tracking spell, but as I walked to the palace, ponies continued to bow. Beginning to get irritated, I sprinted to the palace. Luckily, the pedestrians did not bow me in time. The guards at the front gate noticed me running towards them, so they braced for impact. However, seeing as I _am_ the only human in Equestria, they nodded and opened the gate. I survived the bowing horde and proceeded to enter the throne room, but the princess was not there.

"Princess," I asked, "where are you?" Seeing as Luna was nowhere to be found, I wandered my way to her sleeping quarters after about a half hour. _Man, the palace is huge!_ I sighed, remembering the cause of my cast. I knocked on the door with my crutches.

"Come in," I heard a solemn voice say. Slowly, I managed to open the door and entered. Suddenly, I heard a gasp, and I fell to the floor. "It's you! Aaron, I'm so sorry about two nights ago! I was drunk and you were drunk and we were having a problem and-"

"Leg...," I managed to mumble, wincing with pain.

"Oh, sorry!"

"It's fine, princess."

"Please, call me Luna."

"Alrighty then, Luna. I can understand the mishap. We were drunk. Nothing can prevent that when there is booze around," I said. I heard her giggle. "Anyway, I'm here to work. Also, you heard that Celestia is… missing, right? I believe I know how to find her."

Luna's face brightened. "Really? You know a spell? But I thought humans don't have horns, considering you don't have one." She smirked, looking at my pants. "Or do you?"

My faced reddened. "No, not there! I spoke to a stallion while on my way here. Apparently, if you have, say, a shoe or strand of mane from somepony you want to find, you place a tracker spell on it. All you have to do is let it show you the way."

"I'll try it right now!"

* * *

I was finishing the last papers. I needed to approve or reject cases to be held in Canterlot's courthouse. Canterlot's court is supposed to be the highest level court. Just as I rejected a sue on somepony who threw rocks at others, Luna burst through the door.

"I found her!"

I stood up from my desk. "What are you waiting for? Let's go!" I jumped over my table and sprinted out the door, chasing the lunar princess out the door. As we exited the palace, I looked around. Instantly, I was swept off my feet; Luna had lifted me on her back. We took off.

"It will be a while. You have permission to sleep. You have earned it," she said, flashing me smile. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around the princess's neck. I felt her shudder a bit.

_So soft_, I thought. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

_"You couldn't save me."_

_ I looked around, searching for that voice. It sounded like…_

_ "Celestia, is that you?" I was facing Princess Celestia, but she was not herself. I noticed her eyes had changed to an alien teal-green. Suddenly, a green surrounded her. She became the well-known Queen Chrysalis!_

_ "You lose." She pulled out a flaming sword from logic known as Pinkie Space. "Die."_

* * *

I woke up, sweaty and sticky. Luna seemed concerned. "Is everything alright?" As I nodded, she smiled. "We are close." I noticed she projected the arrow, and it was pointing lower, and lower…

"Drop down," I said. "There may be ponies guarding her." We descended to a group of thick trees and slowly approached the area. Once we got close to a clearing, I heard muffled screams and rustled movement. I softly gasped. The princess was there! As I peeked out from a bush, I saw that Celestia was bound to a tree! She also had a gag in her mouth, but it wasn't any type of gag. _An apple? That's unusual,_ I thought.

"Y'all sure this is a good idea? We could earn money a different way."

I froze.

"Eeyup."

_I'm fucked_, I thought. _Fighting is out of the playbook._ "Follow me, Luna," I whispered. The lunar princess was equally surprised, but she heard me. I heard movement to my right, and Twilight appeared. Twi solemnly shook her head and activated a knock-out spell on the Apple Farm residents. I heard three drops.

"Thanks, Twi."

I closed in on the sun princess. Untying her, I inspected her injuries. Celestia seemed unharmed, but she was still grasping the fact that her student's friend was a criminal. "Aaron, Twilight, my dear sister, what was that? I… I've never seen such deception from a kind pony…" Celestia shed one tear. Then, she activated a spell, but it faltered and died out. "Um, right, Magic Prevention Ointment. Smart entrepreneur…"

I looked at Princess Luna, and she nodded. Bowing her head she teleported Applejack, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith. "I teleported them to the Canterlot dungeons."

When I looked up towards Canterlot, I saw a carriage arriving. When the pegasi flying it stopped, we boarded. "Thank you, Twi. I couldn't have done this without you." She blushed madly.

"When Applejack was gone during the investigation, I knew something was absolutely wrong…"

I sighed tiredly. Celestia smiled. "You may sleep by me." I leaned by her side, and she wrapped her wing around me. Meanwhile, the lunar princess rose the moon. Contently, I fell asleep to the sound of one voice."

"Good night, my savior…"

** A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry for such a horrific chapter, but unless you count the amount of humor I put into this story, it's pretty decent. Many thanks to Zamairiac for the motivational critique! Also, I apologize for taking such a long time, but when you still live with your parents at such a high age, they continue to treat you like a child. For example:**

_**"WHY ARE YOU STILL AWAKE AT ELEVEN O'CLOCK?!"**_

_**"I'm reading fanfics."**_

_**"IT'S SO LATE! YOU! ARE! GROUNDED!"**_

**And the rest is history...**

** Now, all jokes aside, I have not found much motivation to continue... until I got an idea. That is why the description has changed. I may edit certain parts of the other chapters, but meh, YOMPO (You Only Motivate Pwniez Once).**

** Lastly, not watching the third season yet does not have its perks.**

** Looking over "dusty" chapters is a bitch. FML...**


	4. NSFW Vinyl did WHAT? (Day 4)

As cliché as it sounds, I woke up to the sound of light snoring. I checked my watch: 5:00. _Meh._ Smiling, I got out of bed and tucked Celestia back into bed. She mumbled happily.

"Mhm… Aaron, keep going… gonna make… it…"

I'm sorry, but I just had to say this: "That's what she said." I made a quick Elvis Presley pose and grinned dumbly. I began to sing a stupid song about TWSS.

Celestia cocked her head at me, and I smiled nervously. "Sorry, I sing stupid stuff…" The princess smirked.

"Is that so? Well, you can sing your way down to the dining area soon. Also, you may shower if you deem one necessary. " Following her pointed hoof, I walked into the shower. I happily marched my way into the bathroom, humming the tune. Removing my clothes and my cast, I closed the door and turned on the shower, feeling the cold water slowly heat up. I studied the products in the shower. _They're just like what we use…_ Suddenly, I heard the door creak open. I pretended not to notice, shampooing my hair. However, I felt pressure on my back. I turn around whipping my semi-long hair at the intruder.

"W.T.F., CELESTIA! I'M NAKED!" The princess did not seem troubled at all.

"What's the matter? We, ponies, are naked about all the time."

I sighed, and while covering my "dollar and two quarters," I explained the concept of clothes. With a small, "Ohhhh," she left, but not without a quick glance at my crotch (you know what, I'm a man. I can say dick whenever I want to), or my _dick_, and blushing. My eyes widened, and I pushed her out and closed the curtain. With a pout, she left. I let out a long breath. The rest of my shower was uneventful. As I walked out, I noticed that I didn't bring any extra clothes when Celestia teleported me to Equestria. I pulled on my old clothes, cursing for my unpreparedness.

Upon stepping out, Luna and Celestia where talking softly amongst themselves, but when I appeared, they stopped. I tapped my foot. "I'm smarter than you think, what are you talking about that includes me?"

Luna dipped her head down. "There has been unrest in Equestria. A rebellion has begun. They wish for the monarchy to end, and for an oligarchy to begin. However, that rebellion has been influenced by the Gryphon's leader, King Grindorf. Therefore, we have resisted. Unfortunately, our forces have been disappearing, and they are increasing in numbers. We need a powerful soldier to stop this, and you fit the description."

Celestia cleared her throat. "Ponies will have trouble defeating you, considering you look faster, taller, stronger, and more intimidating than any other pony I've seen. We _need_ you out there. For this reason, your week stay has been extended. Should you be able to defeat this rebellion, you may stay forever."

"I… uh…" They gave me puppy-dog eyes. I could have sworn Luna even shed a tear. "I… can't." The princesses gasped. "I'm not what you think I am. I'm weak…"

Celestia sighed. "Very well, but if you could, would you?" I nodded. "I would like to make a proposition. Would you like us to train you to become physically fit?" I nodded once again. They squealed. "Okay, training starts tomorrow!" With that, they teleported me to a room. A guard raised his spear.

"Halt! For what reason do you have being here? What's your name?"

"Aaron Hoofington." He gasped and bowed. "Uh, rise, but please don't do that."

"But you are Princess Luna's personal guard. You're like a prince."

_I wonder what life would be if I was._ "If it makes you feel better, then fine." He opened the door, muttering his thanks. I scanned my room. There was a bathroom to my right with everything I need. To my left was a closet to store my clothes in, and next to it was a bookcase. In front of me was a fireplace across from a king-sized. _I don't need a king-sized bed. Unless…_

"Giggity."

* * *

It was many hours of bonding with the princesses when I returned and found a small plate with three chocolate pastries on it. Next to it was a note. It read:

_Aaron,_

_Please meet me after your treat; I would like to take you to day court with me._

_~ Tia_

_P.S. Be nice to Lulu._

* * *

My face reddened. I wrote a big "NO WAY" next to the sentence, and I crumpled up the paper, tossing in randomly. I ate the pastries, making a food-gasm (I usually didn't ask for any treats, and Pinkie is just way too weird to have within a 1-mile radius), and I made my way to the door. As I passed the tailor's workplace, I heard a voice call me over.

"Come back, I have something for you!" Upon entering the workshop, the mare introduced herself. "My name is Lyra Heartstrings. I am the royal tailor, but I live in Ponyville. I have something for you…" She pulled out a tuxedo that coincidentally looked to be my size. "I read about humans in books, and I was so fascinated by them. That's when I got the idea, 'What would it be like living like a human?' The rest is history." I grabbed the tux and took it into the changing room.

_Like a glove_, I thought. As I stepped out, Lyra smiled.

"It fits!" With a squeal, she teleported me outside the court. I sighed, and I pushed the doors open. I heard gasps from both sides, and I saw Tia blush.

"Just smashing…" I heard her mutter. I noticed there was an extra throne, and I took my seat. Once everything calmed down, they continued. "You look stunning," she said with a red face.

"As do you."

"Thank you."

* * *

Once everypony filed out, I woke up from my daydream.

Celestia grinned. "That's quite some devotion towards our topic."

"I know." I yawned. "May I leave the palace for some shenanigans at the city center?"

"You already hate court?"

I was flustered. "Well, I… Uh…" I dashed out of the room, hearing the princess giggle. As I approached the gates, I saw Nurse Redheart peeking out.

"You must let me in! I have important news for Aaron!" As she saw me, she smiled. "Aaron, tell these guards to open the gates!" I nodded, so they complied. Redheart trotted over. "The doctor said you should be fine without the cast. I already signed the papers for you to be out of them."

"Thanks!" I hugged her tightly, feeling her body tense up as well as heat up. Suddenly, I heard a loud commotion. The princesses jumped out of the door, and they looked at me with a crazed look.

"I want him," Lulu muttered.

"I _need_ him," Tia moaned.

I was intrigued by this, so a note was teleported right in front of me. It read:

_Aaron,_

_I hope to make your acquaintance soon. I will arrive in Canterlot tomorrow._

_~ Princess Candence of the Crystal Empire._

_P.S. Gave my aunts a modified Want it, Need it spell. It is directed towards you and only they can get it. UMad?_

* * *

"How modern," I grumbled. I handed my cast and crutches to the nurse, including the note on top. I saluted her. "Now, if you'll excuse me…" I faced a guard; he was a unicorn. "Teleport me to Vinyl Scratch's club, pronto!" He mumbled a response, and I found myself outside a club. I could _feel_ the deafening music. "Here goes nothing…"

As I entered the building, I heard gasps, and the music abruptly ended. I saw everyone bow, and I sighed in frustration. "When has a dance club been so formal?" They thought over my question. The music started up, and the ponies continued their doings. Walking over to the DJ, she held out her hoof.

"Names Vinyl Scratch. I assume you're Princess Luna's personal assistant, Aaron Hoofington?" I shook her hoof. "Want a drink? It's free for royalty, but they rarely come here." I nodded. She trotted to the bar and banged the table with her hoof. "MOONSHINE, I NEED TWO APPLE CIDERS!" A drunken mare appeared from under the table. She slapped two bottles on table. "Now, Aaron, what brings you to my club? Not that it's bad or anything…"

"Princess troubles," I mumbled, taking a sip from my drink. "Princess Cadence modified a 'Want it, Need it' spell on them and now they want _me_."

"What's wrong? You don't like them? If I was a stallion, I'd hit them any day."

"No! It's not that! It's just… I don't feel like I _deserve_ a relationship."

"Oh," Vinyl said, "Why is that?"

"I couldn't tell you." I quietly took a large gulp.

"I can respect that."

* * *

**Luna POV**

I rushed out of the palace.

"I _need_ him." I said. Suddenly, a guard teleported Aaron somewhere away from here. I grabbed the guard. "Where is he?" I asked madly.

"He should be in the city center near the park, club, restaurant, and library…"

After he told me that, I rushed out of the gates with my sister, leaving Nurse Redheart and the others in the dust. Unfortunately, my mind was too clouded to use a teleportation spell, so it took much longer to find my beloved.

* * *

When I met up with Tia, she was disheartened. "I checked everywhere. He must've run off." My heart sank. _Where could he be?_

"Did you check the park?"

"Yes."

"The restaurant?"

"Yes."

"The library?"

"Yes."

"The club."

"No. Why would he be there?"

I facehoofed. "Where do you go to get rid of your stresses?"

We answered together. "The bar."

My sister and I rushed our way to the club, and we slammed the door open. Much to my dismay, everyone bowed, blocking my passage. "Out of my way!" I yelled, shoving ponies to the side. Once the crowd cleared, I found Aaron unconscious on the table. Next to him was the DJ, Vinyl Scratch. I stared her down, and she cowered, whimpering. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?"

"He drank until he went cold…"

Some Pegasus guards arrived. "GUARDS," I barked, "TAKE VINYL SCRATCH TO THE CANTERLOT DUNGEONS!" They nodded, punching Vinyl in the back of the head. She went cold.

Tia levitated Aaron onto her back. "Come, sister, we are leaving." I felt a tingling feeling, like somebody put me under a spell and it was wearing off… Instantly, Aaron woke up and jumped off Tia. He seemed different. He had a certain look to his eyes.

Anger.

* * *

**Aaron POV**

"What are you doing?" I asked. I saw Vinyl, out cold, being carried out by some guards. I grabbed the DJ from the guards. They looked at me with bewilderment.

"Guards, Aaron has been hypnotized by Vinyl, tie him down!"

A pony leapt at me. I dodged him as if he was a dodge ball. I grabbed his weapon in the process. I noticed the princesses carrying the white mare themselves, and that kept my adrenaline pumping. As another pony charged me, I stabbed at his hooves, and he fell down, wincing in pain. Three more guards attacked. One of them managed to stab my leg, and blood gushed out. Wincing, I hit them all in the chest area, and they fell down. Finally, the last of my enemies remained.

"Tia, Lulu," I ordered, breathing hard," let Vinyl go."

The princesses blocked me. "We cannot. She will continue to manipulate you."

I was infuriated by this act. "Manipulate? She was _comforting_ me!" The princesses flinched at my outburst. I acknowledged the DJ coming to, but I pretended not to notice. "I thought, 'maybe, just maybe, a relationship with the princesses couldn't be too bad,' but you crossed the line! It could have worked out, but it's over…" With tears streaming from my eyes, I nodded to Vinyl, and she activated the spell, just like we planned. I walked to the doors. Tia tried to hold me in place with magic, but it didn't work. "Shield spell; it prevents any magic with any strength from touching me. Wouldn't you know? You _made_ it." I ran out, leaving everypony with fallen tears and a trail of blood.

* * *

"Stupid princesses," I spoke to myself. I ripped my shirt off, and I had tied it around my wound. Luckily, the blood stopped flowing, and the obvious trail ended. The bad news was that I lost too much blood. I collapsed on the ground, and the last thing I heard was Vinyl screaming my name.

* * *

When I came to, I was in a bed. I looked around, and I found Vinyl sitting by a chair. "You're finally awake!" She hugged me tightly. "I was so worried. I thought you were a goner! It's my entire fault! I'm so sorry!"

"It's not…," I wheezed. Climbing out of the covers, I saw the princesses peeking through the window. With a deathly glare, I scared them away. As I approached the door, Vinyl stopped me.

"Whoa, buster, I want you to meet someone. Yo, Tavi, come over here!" Instantly, a sophisticated-looking mare walked in. She had a gray coat with a darker mane and tail.

"What do you- What's that?" _Memories_, I thought. "I told you; we are _not_ keeping any _pets_ in the house!"

"Where have you been?" Vinyl said. "This is Luna's _personal assistant_. Get out of the gutter!"

Instantly, Octavia bowed down. "My- my apologies, sir. I never meant to offend you."

"It's quite alright. It always happens…" With a sigh, Tavi sat down. I turned to Vinyl. "May I wash up? The blood is flaking annoyingly." When she nodded, I limped down to the bathroom, and I turned the handle. As soon as I saw the water coming out of the nozzle, I felt drowsy. Instantly, I knew there was knockout gas in the room. I heard Luna scream, and I hit the floor.

* * *

Waking in a bed, I freaked out. I was in a dark room with a candle far away, giving a very small light. The door slammed open, but I could not see the pony. "Who- who are you?" I stammered. I felt my pants being pulled down, so I tried reaching down to pull them back up, but my hands were tied up. Upon failing my attempts, I heard a very quiet voice, and it sounded… seductive.

"Come here pretty boy…" On instant, I felt my boxers tighten. "Give me a chance…" Finally, my dill pickle sprang to life. Then, I felt something slimy touch my dick.

"Don't...," I muttered. _I never asked to lose my virginity…_ Suddenly, the door blasted open, and the princesses ran through.

"Stop this instant!" The light was turned on, and I saw that the DJ was the assaulter. Tavi was also by the side of the bed. Gasping, I kicked them off. "Vinyl Scratch! I should have known!"

While Celestia tied the ponies down and gave some Magic Prevention Ointment to Vinyl, Luna unwound my ropes. "It is great that you are still intact and unharmed."

I couldn't meet my eyes with hers. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I was still drunk…"

"It's alright. I was so worried. When I saw the gas coming into the room, I screamed and cried. I thought you were as good as dead. I didn't want you to leave. I wanted to hug you, to cuddle with you…," Luna mumbled.

"So you do love me…," I whispered. I smiled, returning Lulu's light blush.

"Yes, ever since that kiss, I knew that even though that it was a drunken one, it was also meaningful…"

I saddened, however. "I hate to say it, though, but I can't. I'm not ready…" Luna leaned in and sobbed. Meanwhile, I pulled up my pants.

* * *

"Vinyl Scratch (a.k.a. DJ-PON3) and Octavia Melody, you are found guilty for sexual harassment of Princess Luna's personal guard, Aaron Hoofington. You are both sentenced to life in the Canterlot Dungeons. Guards, take these monsters away!" Tia screamed. As the guards pushed the cons downstairs, Tia hoped down from her throne and approached Lulu and I. "Was that of your liking?"

"Yes," we both said, and upon hearing us say the same thing, we giggled. _(Uh… we weren't giggling. Naw, I'm a MAN! YEAHH FOOTBALL!...…. Okay, we were giggling…)_

"Thank you, Tia. I really needed that. I can sleep tonight without someone raping me. Or maybe…," I joked. The princesses gave me a playful glare. "Uh, just kidding? But honestly, Celestia, I want to make it up to you."

"Oh?" Celestia asked. "What might that be?"

"I would like to treat you to dinner." I could hear Luna quietly disapproving with a scowl. "It will be a dinner amongst friends. I've also wanted to know more about you." When she nodded, I smiled. "I'll get the chefs working." With that, I left, eager for the meal to come.

* * *

"M'lady," I said, pulling out her seat, "dinner awaits." However, when Tia sat down, I could have sworn Luna peaked through the door. Fortunately, I had planned for Luna to come peaking around. "Lulu, there _are_ three plates, chairs, etc. here. I knew you would come." With an annoyed scowl, the princess entered.

"I felt like sabotaging the dinner, so I got ready to fill in. I'm sorry." When Luna appeared, I could not believe my eyes. Standing in front of me was a beauty. She had curled her mane into multiple strands, and she had a long, blue dress with the moon on it.

"It is alright. I can understand. My, my, you look lovely," I said. Staring her down (in a NON-PERVERTED way), I smiled. Luna turned dark red.

"Don't look at me like that! This dress is awful!"

* * *

It had been two hours of eating and chatting with (only) Luna. Once and a while, Tia would comment on what our topic was, but for the rest of the night, she would play around with her food silently. I had had enough. "Tia, can you speak with me privately?" I led her to the hallway. When we left the dining hall, I closed the door. "Okay, why are you acting so quiet this whole time? It's like I'm having a dinner with Luna and you're the bystander!"

The princess lowered her head sadly. "You treat my sister better than me. This was supposed to be _our_ night together!" she said, stomping her hoof down.

My eyes widened, and I smirked. "You're _jealous;_ aren't you?"

Celestia gasped. "Why would you think such a thing? I'm not jealous. I just feel, uh, left out…"

"Sure, sure, I believe you."

"Now, see here, I-"

"-Have a crush on me?"

"No! I-"

"-Like me?"

"No way! I meant I-"

"-Want to marry meeeeee?"

"Bah! I give up!"

"Just admit it!"

"Never!" ***SMACK!***

We then reentered the room to finish chatting with Luna. Tia was so annoyed from my "childish" interruptions, but she finally started talking. Mission Accomplished! After dinner, the princesses thanked me for a great night.

"Aaron, I must say, that was a splendid meal," Luna said. Tia nodded in agreement. "I know you must be tired from your "shenanigans" with Vinyl Scratch, and you have not fully adjusted to my night schedule, you have the night off of work."

"Wow, thanks _Lulu_."

Luna scowled. "Not here! The chefs are still cleaning the plates nearby!" I smiled, as she trotted off, clearly embarrassed.

Tia came up to thank me. "Tonight was a lovely night," she said, kissing me as well. Both blushing, we wished each other good night, and returned to our own sleeping quarters. I passed Lyra's workplace, and she was fixing up another human tuxedo. When she saw me, she ran over to show me the suit.

"I made this for you." When Lyra levitated the tux over to my back, I read something on the front I wished to never read this early: _I do._ "Good luck out there, tiger," she said, teasing my red face. After hearing that, I sprinted into my room, slamming the door and surprising the guard standing nearby.

I looked at my watch: 10:00. _I'd better start sleeping in. I have daytime training and nighttime work!_ I slipped into my covers. As I began dozing off, I heard my door creak open, and something opened the blankets slightly and got in. "Tia, I'm not in the mood…"

I heard a loud, "Hmmph," and she left. As Celestia left, she said something very quiet, and I felt conflicted and giddy when I heard these words.

"_Good night, my love._"

**Hey, readers! Thanks for putting up with my awkward and awful story. I wish I could type more, but I haven't been in the mood. I'm losing it. Who knows? Maybe I'll ask the very few readers for help. To anyone asking where I got this idea, I have no buckin' idea!**

**I'm officially changing the rating to M, and there is a small possibility of changing the title, too. Now, don't go hating just because it's NSFW. As my friend once said: "Don't blame the newbie for being nooby, blame the team for making him what he is."**

**He's dead now. No, not ****_dead_**** dead. While he may as well be, he's considered a dead man everywhere. No one speaks to him - not even the teachers. They ****_forget _****to enter in ****_his grades. _**

**Stick to your guns, stallions, and make the success happen, mares (no pun intended)!**


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